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"Groped by Portly Earls in Hallways" - An Interview with Deborah Craft

Fake Geek GirlComment
"Groped by Portly Earls in Hallways" - An Interview with Deborah Craft

Today, we're celebrating #TBT with this throwback from our old site, reposted here today to in homage to the Second Anniversary of the first episode of DebCam.

Wanna know more about the peeps behind FGGPeeps? Founder Nicole Keating used the time-honored tradition of instant messaging to interview staff member and star of Debcam Deborah Craft about acting, history, and the CW's Arrow.

Deborah: Hey Lady!  Sorry I lost track of time watching the season 2 finale of Arrow

Nicole: hi! yay!

N: I was such a flake today, too.

NBerenstein Bears and Too Much To Party

Image via

Image via

D: lol.  No worries.  Just let me pause the Arrow...

N: mmmmmm arrow

D: right?

D: I HATE that I get so sucked into these shows.

N: embrace the CW! so good, so bad.

D: So bad.  So good.

N: tho Flash is legit just good

D: Yeah finished watching the Flash and yelled at the TV when the last scene of the last ep was on.

D: I need my second season, yo!

D: Netflix why you gotta do me this way?

N: okay, so, not part of the actual list of questions, BUT since we were talking about it, i'm curious:

Fuck/Marry/Kill: Barry Allen, Oliver Queen, Ray Palmer

D: OH SHIT!

D: ummm...

D: ummm

N: hard, right?

N: and i'm not just referring to my ladyboner

D: Fuck Barry, Marry Oliver, Kill Ray

D: not that I want to kill Ray

D: he seems like a sweet guy. 

N: you never WANT to kill the last option, it's just that they're not up to snuff

D: Ray's got an epic chin, tho.

N: like a sexy Jay Leno

D: Sara's chin bugged the CRAP out of me.

N: I <3 LADY BUTT CHINS

D: but it didn't move with her face.

N: oh, man, you're right! maybe her chin the source of her power so she keeps it real still in fear of it breaking. even so, she's better than Laurel fucking Lance

D: agreed.  Laurel is :(

D: She's just too whiney to be a badass

N: OH this is actually a perfect segue into my first actual interview question!

N: pretend i planned it

D: see how I help.

N: in the first episode of Debcam, we see a woman who's badass spy antics have gotten her into a little bit of a pickle.

Who would YOU choose to be your five-lady heist team?

N: you're the Johnny Ocean, so pick four more.

D: Ooooooooohhhhhhhh I like this question.

D: Well, 1. Felicity Smoak cause she's fast as hell and would keep a bit of lighthearted reality in the excursion.

N: oh man, also the perfect hacker

D: Now we'd need a driver...

D: and some muscle...

D: and some flexibility...

D: and an engineer...

D: So, Uluru from the most recent Star Trek adventures for brains and flexibility

D: Uluru?  WTF, autocorrect?  UHURU

D: ...is that her name?

N: Uhura

N: it ends with an A for femininity...?

D: hahaha i may actually remember that now.

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Image via

D: OH. Starbuck for driving, obviously.

N: obvs.

D: so who else?

N: i think you got it, tho: you, Uhura, Starbuck, and Felicity

D: one more....I need a badass fighter. hand to hand.

N: oh, duh

N: i can count

D: OH! got it

D: Zoe from Firefly

D: or River...no, Zoe.

N: PERFEEEEEECT

D: Right?!

N: can we make this movie?

D: Not that this gaggle of women would get along with each other.  At all.  But they would make the perfect team.

N: oh man that would make the movie better, tho

N: so much in-fighting

D: Deb, Felicity, and Uhura would work well together

D: And who would wind up leading?  It would come down to Zoe or Starbuck.

D: Not to discount Deb, but...

N: i feel like you're more the suave spy

N: like, you provide the acting

D: Yeah, Deb would be the infiltrater.

D: infiltrater?  infiltraitor?

N: hey, don't ask me. i just forgot how to count to five

D: valid

N: so all these rad ladies on your spy team are played by real-life rad actress

N: but as Big Daddy Kane said, actin ain't easy. as a practice and as a career. it takes real passion.

D: True dat.

When did you first realize, "YES. This is it. I want to do this. I want to be an actress."

D: The first time I performed for an audience I knew that acting was what I wanted to do.  You know that adrenaline high people talk about from extreme sports and what not?  I think that's the closest equivalent to what I feel when I perform.  My "high" isn't as physically dangerous, so that's a bonus.  But back to your question, I was 9 or 10 and in a summer school class that took elementary school kids and rehearsed a musical revue type of show.  We performed in the malls and at parks and those kinds of places around town all summer.  I was hooked.  I had to take a step back from performing a few years ago because the day job required more of my time and I just turned into the snarkiest, most depressed version of myself.  And that's when I found out how much I Need (with a capital N) to perform.  I Need to act.

D: So, to sum up: first realized I want to be an actress in the 4th grade.  Reconfirmed in my 30's.

N: A renewal of vows

D: Yes...

D: why the ellipses, Deborah?  Oh, I don't know.  I like ellipses.

N: It gives an air of mystery....

D: Or does it...?

D: yes, yes it does...

If you could steal the career of one actress past or present, who would it be?

N: Just career, tho. Resume credits, not personal life.

D: I know this is going to come out as something of a cop out, but if I could meld the comedy career of Carol Burnett with the dramatic and Shakespearian career of Helen Mirren, I would be so very happy.

D: Carol Burnett is one of my heroes.  She's just amazing and funny and smart and goofy and beautiful.  With regard to Helen Mirren, I've caught some of her earlier work and I respect that work as much as I do her current work.  Class act, that lady.

N: I'm trying to think if anyone has ever done that comedy/drama career combo before...

D: That's a tough one.

D: Most people I think either find their comfort zone in either comedy or drama OR they get pigeon holed by Hollywood

N: OH what's her name!! British...

N: Catherine Tate...? Is that who I'm thinking of?

D: OH! I do like Catherine Tate.  QUITE a bit

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Image via

D: Plus she's been a companion and who wouldn't want to be a companion.

D: to The Dr.

D: not some crazy foreign sex thing.

D: or in the Firefly sense.

N: I figured as much ;)

N: Back to dat sweet D-Cam.

We have a couple episodes set historically. What era would you like to live in?

N: Let's say for like a month

N: So you get the opportunity to experience the era but don't have to go without technology or rights for too long

D: HAH!  I'd like to live in the era I'm in right now, thank you.  I don't think I could go back to living in another era when women's rights were even more repressed.  I am not cut out for that.  But since you put the time restriction on it, perhaps Regency Europe.  Specifically England.  Of course, I would need to be living with a wealthy family, 'cause rusticating is so completely not my bag. I'm basing this decision entirely on fashions and manners, you realize.

N: Yeah, rich fam is a must. No one wants to be a governess, esp in the 1800s

N: Secret wives in attics and all that

D: Yeah, getting groped by elderly portly Earls in hallways...not how I want to spend my life.

Legit the first image when I search "portly earl." Image via

Legit the first image when I search "portly earl." Image via

N: Last question!

With season 2 devel in the works, what shows do you want to make fun of?

D: I KNEW you were going to ask about development!  Gah!  

D: OK, let's see...

D: We have a script or two from the first season that never made it to air, so we're definitely looking into commercials; made for TV/After School Special style stuff; maybe a sketch comedy show; I want to try another angle on the Superhero genre that's still going super strong; some kind of divorced woman in her 40's style show.  There's so much to choose from really.

N: Yeah I feel like we gotta make fun of arrow, especially after how this convo started!

D: I know.  And it's pretty ripe for the picking.  

D: Does this mean I have to get in shape?

N: Bah! Corset training is huge right now. A couple cracked ribs and you're red carpet thin and ready for Instagram fame!

D: Can one Kickstarter a corset training regimen?

N: Someone Kicktartered a potato salad, so, yeah, I'd imagine you could.

D: Might draw the wrong kinda fans tho.

N: Shhhhh. All donations are good donations.

N: just don't ask how the donated briefcase of $100s got covered in blood...

D: "donated"??

N: ELLIPSES FOR MYSTERY..............